Chainsaws in the night: my evening with the Swank Farms maniacs

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On Sept. 22, this reporter was stalked, terrorized and nearly strangled by four chainsaw-wielding manics at Swank Farms while walking with owner Dick Swank through the Terror in the Corn Maze experience. It was just part of the job for all of us as the Trail of Lights and Frights is readied for its Oct. 4 opening. 

The 25th Fall Festival features several corn mazes: a children’s version of a haunted maze reached by walking the colorful Trail of Lights, the Spookly Maze for the very young and the more extensive traditional maze designed by local children who attended day camp at the farm.

But the biggest draw is the haunted maze, filled with enough jump scares to test even the bravest thrillseeker. This year, it promises to be even more daunting, with more ghosts, monsters and chainsaws than ever before.

“One chainsaw was always featured,” Swank said, “But our haunt is like an embryo—it just keeps growing. So now we have chainsaws everywhere, and we will have six or seven chainsaws going the whole time.”

(Spoiler alert: though how it is accomplished is a trade secret, Swank said the saws have been modified to render them completely safe—“All bark, no bite.” And there are several escape routes for those too frightened to continue through the maze.)

Swank said that the terrors of the maze have slowly evolved. Initially, a few costumed performers ran through the original maze, scaring people as best they could. But that changed.

“We realized that the maze’s size made it too hard to scare people,” he said. “If you’re really going to scare people, you have to bring them into one spot where you can focus on them.”

Swank said the thrills are not designed with any desire for subtlety but instead take a blunt-object approach to terrorizing visitors. 

“It’s not a lot of theatrical stuff,” he said. “Going in tall corn, not knowing where you’re going, and not knowing what’s around the corner creates a perfect situation to scare people. It’s just you, the corn and the darkness.”

Lupe Moreno works at Swank Farms year-round and is also responsible for designing and constructing the Trail of Terrors haunted maze and the less scary children’s version, a process that takes up to four months. 

His favorite part of the maze is the haunted house visitors must pass through, which he constructed. He also performs in the maze costumed as a clown—with a chainsaw, of course.

“It is a lot of work,” he said. “Everything is hard about it. But I enjoy it because, after it is built, I get to run around with my friends and scare people.”

And scaring people is the point. Jorge Nieto has been performing in the haunted maze for three years and says that he has no particular technique for terrorizing maze walkers. He said he just gets into his character and goes from there.

“Everything is just in the moment,” he said. “I don’t really think about what I am doing. I just try to make sure everyone is having fun.”

Benito Barajas likes to grab for people’s hands, telling them he wants to hang them from his belt.

“There was one girl with a little dog,” he said. “I told her I wanted to make a keychain out of it, and I told her I would give her $5,000. She wouldn’t take it, and she ran away.”

All the performers pay attention to their victims and are quick to comfort those who become overly frightened.

“When you see they can’t take any more,” Barajas said, “I will take off my mask and tell them I am sorry. I let them know it is just a game, nothing more, and if they want, I will lead them safely out of the maze.”

For those who want to have the fun of a corn maze at night, without the attendant terrors, the Trail of Lights, an illuminated pathway, takes you to a kinder, gentler maze with no chainsaws and nobody leaping out at you. There is the Spookly Maze, which is pure fantasy for the very young, and the main maze, open day and night, exists just to get you lost.

But the whole point of the season is to get terrified, isn’t it?

“My favorite part,” Swank said, “is how shocked people come out at the end. About 10-15% are too scared to make it through all the way, and we have easy ways for them to get out. In the end, it is all about getting scared, being excited and having a great time. And people love it.”

Besides the chance to be shaken to your boots, the Fall Experience offers the usual attractions, including a pumpkin patch, activities for children like jumping pillows and a giant slide, farm animals that children can feed, farm-to-table foods, Swank Beer, local vendor booths and endless photo opportunities.  Swank Farms has also doubled the amount of parking, and there will be two entrances to the event.

Swank Farms Fall Experience runs from Oct. 4-31. The Festival is open every day in October from 10 a.m. – 10 p.m. except Oct. 2-4, 9-11, 16 and 23.  The Trial of Lights and Frights is open from dark until 10 p.m. on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays, and Halloween evening. Tickets are available on the website.

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